I was born to a rattlesnake
Drop me in the desert and let me bake
Don't like to gamble when it's high stakes
'Cause I don't want it if I can't take it
I don't want what I can't take

My Ford diesel's got a shotgun rack
Runs over everything in its path
My one talent is a natural knack
For drinking Lonestar Beer with a fifth of jack
Lonestar Beer and a fifth of Jack

1 step closer to the sawdust floor
2 steps under the dress she wore
Gimme 3 steps, mister, to the pool hall door
Another 12-step program and I'm back for more

Don't come knockin' - I'm not at home
I'm on a little bender in El Paso
Got a third bottle of membrillo
If you wanna come meet me in the barrio
You come find me in the barrio

When I die, won't need no bail
Just kick my ash over the county jail
I might smell like the Rio Grande
That's alright, it's who I am

That's what you get, you live in San Antone
You feel every pothole right through your bones
You get to work, while I get stoned
With the finest damn women that you've ever known
The finest damn women that you've ever known

Long tall cactus and killer bees
Mequiladoras and a paint factory
Snakeskin boots and tumbleweeds
I'm from Texas, you're jealous of me